


Trying

by acousticirwin



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: I tried my best don't kill me, Insecure Ashton, M/M, but it's also kind of funny, it's also chaptered so that's good as well, there's a lot of badminton involved here, this is a sad au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-23 15:43:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2552915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acousticirwin/pseuds/acousticirwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton could hide behind books for the rest of his life; and Luke lives for the sport. Calum wants to study archaeology; and Michael; Michael is only here for the free drama. </p>
<p>or: </p>
<p>The one where everyone's in a boarding school, Ashton has a bad past, Michael is his weird room mate, Luke's an asshole who can also be really sweet and Calum is just kind of there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "And suddenly, they were friends."

The day after the summer holidays was always the day Ashton loathed the most.

 

People ran excited from one point to another, old friends fell into each others' arms, and mothers all around said goodbye to their children with tears in their eyes and the words 'I love you' on their lips.

 

Ashto spent these days in his room and watched the people outside from his window. From time to time he took a gulp of water out of his bottle and then he would look at his book again and tried to concentrate on the words. But who could judge him, really, when the outside world was much more interesting than Paris in the 17th century.

 

Out of experience Ashton knew that the mass of people would clear out around 5pm and that a bit later his new roommate would appear. He had lived through it many times, and every year had been the same: his roommate entered, introduced himself to Ashton, put his clothes in the wardrobe, and with a bit luck didn't disappear instantly after that and accompanied Ashton that evening in the dining hall.

 

And he was right; at 5:14pm a knock interrupted Ashton in his thoughts and after a quiet “come in” a dark-haired, good-looking guy entered the room. The boy looked around for a second and then saw Ashton sitting on the window shelf.

 

“Uh... am I right here?” Ashton shut his book and jumped onto the ground. “What's your room number?” The guy who looked  _really_  nice, as Ashton noted, looked on a wrinkled paper in his left hand and answered: “It reads  _Room 124, Roommate: Ashton Irwin._  Is that you?” Ashton nodded and pulled out his hand for the guy to shake.

 

“Yes, that's me. And who are you?” His roommate took his hand and shook it in a firm grip. “Michael. Michael Clifford. Nice to meet you.” And okay,  _Michael_  was a really pretty name. Suited its carrier.

 

Ashton let his hand fall down next to his side. “Uh... I think you want to know how the room is split up, right?” Michael nodded. “Okay. So, we share the wardrobe over there, I've got my clothes on the left side. You'd put your things on the other side.” He first pointed to the wardrobe, and then to a small dresser. “We have to share that as well, but I'm not using it, so you can have it. The desk next to the wardrobe is yours, and the free bed is yours, obviously. Any other questions?”

 

Michael looked around and put his backpack on the desk. He pulled two suitcases into the room and closed the door behind him. He then threw his suitcase on his bed and laid down next to it. “So, how is this gonna go?” Ashton looked at him questioningly. “What do you mean by that?” Michael sighed. “What are we going to do now? Like, when’s dinner? I’m hungry as hell.” “Well”, Ashton said. “Dinner is at six, and it’s currently 5:19.” He said while looking at his watch. “So until then you  can just do whatever you want to do.” He then climbed back on the window shelf and opened his book again.

 

+++

 

As it turned out, Michael did stay with Ashton for dinner, but only because his boyfriend hadn’t arrived yet, as he told Ashton with a sad look on his face. Even though Ashton wanted to pity Michael, he didn’t, because he would be happy to have someone at all.

 

On their way back to their room, a boy suddenly jumped into Michael’s arms and screamed “Mikeyyyy!” at the top of his lungs. Michael screamed “Calummmm!” right back in his face and the two hugged each other intimately. Ashton took that as his cue to leave and went back to his room, alone like always.

 

You’d think that after years and years of going to the boarding school, Ashton would’ve made at least one friend, but no. He’d scared them all away. It would be the exact same with Michael. Ashton would get one of his stupid nightmares again, and then he’d cry, and then he’d scream, and then Michael would be confused and then Ashton would tell him and then Michael would leave. No big deal.

 

+++

 

School started up the next day, and when Ashton shut off his alarm clock that morning, Michael was already gone. Ashton just sighed and got up to get ready for school. There was a strict dressing code at the boarding school, and Ashton had gotten detention for more than once for dressing “inappropriately”, as Mrs. Hudson had voiced it.

 

After he’d showered and completed his morning routine, Ashton grabbed his backpack, shouldered it and went into the corridor. His ears were instantly filled with the loud chatter of other students and once again Ashton wished he had a friend to talk to. But there were only him and his books.

 

+++

 

Around one and a half weeks later, Ashton came into his room on a Friday afternoon after his last class, literature, had ended, to see yet again foreign people in his (and Michael’s) room. This had been happening for the past two weeks, and Ashton was getting sick of it. He just didn’t like people in his personal space. And yes, his room was his personal space.

 

“Aye Ashton! Good to see ya!” Ashton heard from the corner of the room. He turned around to see Eric sitting on Michael’s desk, swinging his legs back and forth. Eric was one of those guys that got along well with everyone and who was known everywhere. “Hey Eric” Ashton replied and sat down on his desk chair, which was currently unoccupied.   
There were a few people in the room, all guys. There was Eric, Michael, Calum (who indeed was Michael’s boyfriend), and another one Ashton didn’t know the name of.

 

“What’cha doing, Ash?” Michael asked as Ashton pulled out some of his school books out of his backpack. “Well, what does it look like?”, Ashton replied, slightly annoyed. He could feel everybody’s eyes on him, and he didn’t like it at all. “I’m gonna do my homework.”   
”What homework?” Calum asked. “The astronomy work sheet which is due for tomorrow.” Ashton replied, showing Calum the half-finished sheet of paper. Calum visibly paled and hit himself on the forehead. “Damn it! I knew I forgot something!” Grabbing his bag, he got up from his position on Michael’s bed and went to the door. “See you guys later!”

 

Eric jumped off the desk as well. “I should go as well. I need to prepare my biology presentation. Hey Carl, do you want to come with me?” The guy,  _Carl_ , nodded and stood up. “Well, it was nice being here. See ya!”

 

And then there was silence in the room.  _Finally_ , Ashton thought and turned around to his homework once again, while Michael was tapping away on his phone. After a few minutes of silence, Michael interrupted it. “Hey, is it okay if there’s gonna be some people over later?” “Uh, no, I don’t think so.” “What?” Michael shouted. “Why not?” Ashton turned around in his seat and faced Michael.   
”I’m getting sick of having people in my room all the time. I just want to have some time for myself; is that too much to ask for?!”

 

At that, Michael completely flipped. “What do you mean ‘time for yourself’?! All you ever do is do your homework! Don’t you have any friends to hang out with?!” Ashton snorted. “Pfff. As if. I’m an emotional wreck, who’d want to be friends with me?” “Well, it’s not like anything’s gonna change if you keep ignoring everyone!” “I’m not ignoring everyone! I just want to watch ‘Kill Bill’ and be happy with myself!”

 

Michael’s mouth stood wide open. “Oh my god. Did you just say ‘Kill Bill’?” Ashton nodded slowly. What was Michael on about? “That’s like, my favourite movie ever! We should watch it together!” Standing up, Ashton went over to Michael’s bed and flopped down next to him while Michael searched for his laptop.

 

After a short amount of time, Michael found it and just a few minutes later the two of them were discussing the movie and its plot details with the opening credits playing on the laptop screen.

 

And suddenly, they were friends. 


	2. "At least his books would never betray him."

“ _Hey, Ashton” Ashton put down the small shovel and the flower he was currently trying to put into a pot and saw Will coming up to him. The gardener had had trouble crouching down lately, so Ashton had offered to help him with his work, naturally.  
He did that very often. _

  
  


“ _Yes, Will?” “You know, I’ve been thinking about you.” Will came to a halt in front of Ashton. “You are a healthy young lad, why don’t you join one of the sport teams here?” Fiddling with his hands, Ashton smiled sadly. “Thanks, but I’m not. I have very poor coordination, and you should know that. How often have I stumbled while carrying some breakable things?” “And how often have you caught them again and continued walking?” The gardener replied, smiling._

  
  


_Ashton sighed. How could he get out of this?_

  
  


“ _I have heard the badminton team is quite nice, so maybe you should join them.” Will continued. “No, I really don’t think that is a-“_

  
  


“IRWIN! What are you doing there, standing and doing nothing?!” a loud voice brought Ashton back from the sudden flashback and not even a second later he fell down to the floor because a racket hat hit him in the back of the head.  
Instead of getting up like a normal person would, Ashton stayed on the floor and tried to block out the laughter of his team colleagues. “Oh come on, get up! I don’t get paid for nothing!” Desmond, or just ‘Des’, was a very short man with very grey hair, but boy he had a loud voice to make up for that.

  
  


“Yes, sir” Ashton replied reluctantly and got up. Some of the other boys were still snickering at him and he just rolled his eyes. Immature brats. Why did he decide to join the team? Oh yeah, because Will practically dragged him here.

  
  


“Alright, get back to doing those practice shots, nothing to see here!” Des shouted, and immediately the hall was filled again with the soft ‘bop’ ‘bop’ of shuttles being shot. Ashton had only just prepared to receive the shuttle, when a voice shouted: “Oi! Ashton!”  
Turning around (and getting hit by the shuttle in the hip), Ashton saw Michael in the corner of the room, waving for him to come over. Ashton quickly looked if Des was looking, and then ran over to his friend.

  
  


“What’s up? Why are you interrupting my practice?” Michael snorted. “As if you’re actually practising. You’re just standing there doing nothing.” Ashton frowned and tried to say something, but Michael bet him into it. “So, I kind of have a problem.” Ashton frowned even deeper. “Okay, so you know that I’m in the dance course, yeah?” Ashton nodded slowly. “And one of our members kind of broke his foot the other day so we need a new person. Why not you?” Michael grinned.

  
  


“No. Absolutely not.” Ashton shook his head rapidly. “I can’t dance and I never will.” “Oh please! Come on, we really need someone!” Michael pleaded. “No. That’s my final answer.“ “Please, Ashton!” “No, Michael. I’m saying no and that’s it.” 

  
  


“I’ll blackmail you if you don’t join.” Michael suddenly said and crossed his arms. Ashton raised both arms in the air. “WHAT?! Come on, that’s such a low blow!” Michael only blinked. “No! I won’t do it! Stop looking at me like that, Michael, it’s a no!” Frustrated, Ashton pulled at his hair. “Alright, I’ll go. Just leave me alone!” 

  
  


Immediately, Michael lightened up. “Wonderful! Practice is on Tuesdays each week! Bye, see ya!” He waved Ashton good-bye and Ashton went back to the court, now feeling even more miserable than before.

  
  


+++

  
  


As it turned out, Ashton would regret his decision on the following Monday.

  
  


It was in the early evening after a very exhausting badminton practice (and a stressful day of school), and Ashton was currently sitting on the window shelf and reading yet another French book when Michael stormed in, ran over to Ashton, took away his book and threw it on Ashton’s bed.

  
  


“Hey, I was reading that!” Ashton replied slightly annoyed. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.“ Michael mumbled. “Look, we have a problem.” “Oh no” Ashton sighed and let his face fall into his hands. “So I might have asked Calum to join the dance club as well, and he might have said yes, and he might have also asked Luke to go as well and Luke might have agreed to that.” 

  
  


Ashton groaned. “So you’re telling me I’m fucked, right?” Michael shrugged. „Yeah, basically.“ „Great“ Ashton couldn’t believe this. He’s had a crush on Luke for a while now, but the other boy usually just overlooked him, which might have something to do with Ashton’s height. Either that or Luke was just inhumanly tall. 

  
  


“Can’t I just quit?” “NO!” Michael shouted. „You’re already signed up, it’s too late now.“ 

  
  


“Oh fuck” Ashton leaned back against the wall. _Fuck._

  
  


+++

  
  


“So what you’re telling me is that you don’t want to go?” Will said while sipping on his tea. Ashton nodded and looked out of Will’s kitchen window. “Well, as I see it, this is a great opportunity for you to meet new people.” Ashton rolled his eyes fondly. “I don’t need new people. I’m fine just like this.” “But this is great, isn’t it? You’re being social! This is everything I’ve wanted!”

  
  


Ashton finished his tea and looked at his watch. “I’ve got to go, I’ll see you later.” “See you, boy! Stay safe!”

  
  


A few minutes later Ashton sat down on the closed toilet seat in his room, desperately trying to calm himself down, which - well, which didn’t work at all. He didn’t want to freak out over this, but he just might have to. It wasn’t just the fact that everyone else was there to judge him dancing, it was Luke as well. Luke, who could probably play a badminton match blindfolded and still win, whereas Ashton was already struggling with even hitting the shuttle.  
It was just a whole lot of unneeded stress, and Ashton didn’t understand why Michael would want to put him through that.  
Ashton was still waiting for Michael to leave, yet just two days ago Michael had crawled into bed with him when Ashton had woken up in tears. Maybe Michael was there to stay.

  
  


At least one thing was for certain. At least his books would always be there for him. His books would never betray him.

 

 


	3. "He was definitely NOT ready to deal with his problems."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is going along pretty well. Don't think I'll always post a chapter a week, so enjoy it while it lasts.   
> Thanks for the comments/kudos/reads! :)

The next day, Michael, Calum and Ashton sat together during 7 th period and ate their lunches. Well, at least Michael and Calum did, Ashton was busy again, reading in the book that Michael had thrown on his bed just the day before. It was just such a good book. 

  
  


He was currently flipping the page when a voice interrupted his thoughts. “Hey Calum!” Ashton refrained himself from looking up, even though he really wanted to. “What’s up, Luke?” Ashton could feel Luke’s presence next to him from where he was standing at the end of the table, facing Calum and Michael.   
”So, you still haven’t told me who’ll be my dancing partner.” “It’s our lovely Ashton here” Reaching over the table, Michael clapped Ashton on the shoulder, who flinched and looked at Luke.

  
  


Luke only groaned. “Oh come on, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Out of the corner of his eye, Ashton could see Michael furrow his brows. “And why’s that, if I might ask?” “He’s got such poor coordination, I’ve seen him playing badminton before!” For a moment Ashton felt charmed that Luke had been watching him during badminton, but he then remembered just how bad he was at the sport.

  
  


“Whatever, I’ll see you later.” Luke said and walked away. As soon as Ashton knew Luke couldn’t hear them anymore, he whispered out a “fuck” and buried his face in his hands. “Oh come on, I bet it won’t be that bad!” Calum tried to cheer him up, but after Ashton glared at him through his hands he shut his mouth.

  
  


When did this become his life.

  
  


+++

  
  


“God damn it, Ashton! Stop stepping on my foot!” Luke complained and pushed Ashton’s hands from his shoulders, where the dancing teacher had put them after the two had awkwardly stood in front of each other at the start of the lesson when everyone had started dancing to the first song.

  
  


“Stop complaining, it’s not like you’re any better at this!” Even though Ashton wanted to be tough and tell Luke how much of a jerk he was being, he was too afraid of Luke’s reaction. It would be the best for everyone if he’d just run away and hide in the bathrooms until the lesson was finished.

  
  


“Luke! Ashton! Stop your banter! I want nothing of that during my lesson!” Mr. Bralio shouted. He then looked at his watch and stopped the music. “Alright, this is it for today. We’ll continue next time. And you two” he pointed at Ashton and Luke “sort out your problems. I don’t want people to let out their frustrations during my class.” With those words he dismissed the class and everyone, including Ashton, grabbed their bags and left the room. 

  
  


Ashton’s plan had been to go to Luke after the lesson and call him out on his stupid behaviour, but when Ashton looked around he couldn’t find him anywhere in the hallway. “That bastard” Ashton muttered and started walking towards the back entrance of their school, where Luke was known to be during breaks. Besides, if Luke wasn’t there Ashton could just walk through the grass towards the hockey pitch, where Luke was playing in as well.

  
  


However, Luke was leaning against a tree, crunching leafs in his hands from what it looked like from Ashton’s perspective. Ashton went over to Luke to talk to him about the dance lesson, but when he stopped in front of Luke all his thoughts were washed away when he saw the lighter in Luke’s right hand.

  
  


“Uhhh…” Luke looked up, his face crunching up when he saw it was Ashton. He stood up so he was towering over Ashton as usual, and leaned back against the tree again. “What do you want, Ashton?” He asked, flicking the lighter on and burning a leaf with it.

  
  


It was almost as if Ashton was hypnotized by the burning leaf, and he swallowed to stop his throat from going too dry. “I was just- I- uh-“ “Well? Spit it out!” Luke said, throwing the now black leaf on the floor. “I just- I” Ashton swallowed hard and pried his eyes away from the lighter to look into Luke’s eyes.

  
  


“Could you please put out the lighter?” Luke snorted. “Why? Is it bothering you?“ “Well, yes. So could you please just put it away?” Luke only laughed and put the lighter right in front of Ashton’s eyes. He certainly didn’t expect Ashton’s reaction. 

  
  


The hazel-eyed boy stumbled back and fell over a tree branch lying on the floor. He scrambled back, repeatedly shouting “No! No! NO! Keep it away! Please put it out, Luke!” 

Ashton could already see the flames in front of his eyes just like it had been all those years ago. He could already feel his skin burning from the heat, just as it had burned back then.

  
  


Luke looked confused from the lighter to Ashton and back. “What? Are you afraid of fire or something?”

  
  


Ashton pulled his knees up to his chest and desperately tried to calm down his irregular, fast breathing, but it was to no use. “P-Please just put the lighter away, Luke.” Luke’s brows furrowed, but he put the lighter away nonetheless and crouched down next to Ashton, who was visibly shaking.

  
  


Ashton’s head shot up when he felt a hand on his shoulder, but he said nothing. “What’s wrong? Did the fire really bother you that much?” Ashton tried to focus on Luke’s voice, but there were still those voices in his head, his mother shouting at him to run away, his neighbour trying to calm him down, the fireman-

  
  


Luke grabbed Ashton’s face and turned it around so Ashton was looking at him. “Tell me what’s wrong! Did I do something?” Ashton didn’t respond, and when Luke looked into Ashton’s eyes, he could see tears glistering in the corners of Ashton’s eyes and the pure fear in the other boy’s face.

  
  


Ashton just looked back at Luke for a moment before he scrambled up and practically fled from Luke. “Ashton? What’s up with you?” „Just leave me alone!“ Luke stood up as well. “Are you okay?” “Do I look like I’m okay?!” Ashton replied frustrated and wiped the tears from his eyes that were threatening to fall. “Hey, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything!” 

  
  


Ashton took a deep breath and walked back towards the door. “Err… no, it’s okay.  I… I think I should go now.  Have fun at hockey practise.” The only thing he heard before the door shut behind him was a “Wait, what?!” from Luke and then silence surrounded Ashton again. 

  
  


He was definitely NOT ready to deal with his problems.

 


	4. "Would he ever get one?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the beginning of this after listening to 10 episodes of Night Vale, so I am sorry for the weirdness in the first bit.

Ashton didn’t even know why Luke’s sitting with them at their lunch table, and neither did Michael nor Calum. Luke probably didn’t even know why he’s here, either. Luke actually only started sitting with them today, and Ashton didn’t know if this would be a continuing thing.

  


“Why are you sitting here, Luke?” Luke looked up from his plate where he’d been eating a sandwich, and shrugged. “I don’t know.” This only confirmed Ashton’s thoughts. “Why don’t you go away then?” Calum asked and drank a large gulp of water. “I don’t know.”

  


This really wasn’t helpful at all.

  


And it was only Wednesday.

  


+++

  


The following Monday, practice was on again and Ashton really wasn’t looking forward to it. In his eyes, it only meant further embarrassment in front of his team mates, his coach, and (most importantly) Luke. Why did he ever agree to this?

  


“Hey Ashton!” A voice shouted behind Ashton and he turned around, only to be met with an evilly grinning Luke, who walked up to him. “Are you actually going to hit the shuttle this time?” Ashton blushed out of embarrassment and looked at his feet. “I did hit it last time, shut up!” “Yeah, but did you also count how many times you couldn’t reach it because you were too slow?”

  


Ashton blushed even harder. Badminton was such a fast game and he always stumbled over his feet whenever he tried to reach a shot that wasn’t placed directly in front of him. “You’re just going to have to work harder, Ashton.” Luke said.

  


Before Ashton could reply anything, Des arrived and clapped his hands to get all of them to get their attention. “Alright lads, come closer!”

  


Ashton sighed. Oh dear. He’d really have to work on himself.

  


+++

  


On Thursday, Ashton was currently walking to English class, 8th  period, when someone caught up with him in the hallway. It was, of course, Luke.

  


“What do you want, Luke?” Luke shrugged. “I just wanted to walk next to you, that’s all.” Ashton eyed him suspiciously but didn’t reply anything. For a few seconds only the sound of their feet hitting the ground was heard, and then Luke let out a groan. “Do you always walk this slowly? No wonder you can’t get the shots during practise.” Ashton frowned. What was wrong with his style of walking? He wasn’t even walking that slowly! “Well, if you don’t like it, you can just go ahead.” Luke sighed and picked up his steps.

  
And while Ashton watched him do that, he knew he’d really have to step up his game to be as good at Badminton as Luke.

  


+++

  


Sunday night, Ashton was woken up at approximately 4am when Michael shook him rapidly by the shoulder. “What do you want, Michael?” Michael stopped shaking Ashton and sat on the edge of Ashton’s bed. “You were shaking and screaming in your sleep, Ash.” He said and looked down at his lap. Ashton put his hands on his face and noticed his wet cheeks. _Way to go, Ashton. Embarrass yourself in front of your room mate by screaming and crying in your sleep. Wonderful._

  


“I’m sorry” Ashton said and sat up as well. “I didn’t notice” Michael fiddled with his thumbs for a few seconds and then sighed. “You know, why won’t you tell me why you get those nightmares?” Ashton looked at the wall because he couldn’t stand to look into Michael’s eyes at this moment. “I-I just don’t think I’m quite ready to tell people about this. I mean, I’ve told Will, but I’ve known him for a long time now and he’s practically seen me grow up.”

  


“What about the scars and the burn marks?” Now Ashton did look at Michael, but the other one had his eyes focused on Ashton’s torso, which was a faint pink where light skin should have been. Tons of those marks, scattered all over Ashton’s body, which were never to disappear. “I’ve never seen anything like that before. Where did you get them?”

  


Ashton covered his body with his blanket and curled up under it. “Those scars are part of the reason why I can’t sleep at night, but I’m not ready to talk about it yet. Someday, maybe.” Michael nodded and scratched his nose. “So, do you just want me to cuddle you again and ignore the tension in the room?” Ashton nodded and Michael lifted the blanket to warm himself from the cold in the room. It was the beginning of November, and it was starting to freeze.

  


Michael curled his body around Ashton and pressed the other boy tightly against him while combing his hair with his hand. “It’s alright, Ash” Smiling, Ashton laid his head on Michael’s clothed chest and closed his eyes. Maybe, some day, he’d be ready to talk.

  


+++

  


Thursday, the 6th  of November, was Ashton’s official doom’s day.

  


It was at the end of practice, and Ashton had been playing just as bad as all the times before, when Des called him over while everyone went to go change in the locker room. Ashton was full on panicking by that time; he thought Des was going to kick him out of the team.

  


“Okay, Ashton, come to the table for a second.” Ashton followed Des’ rules and stepped next to Des in front of the table, that some paper sheets were lying on. “Alright, you see this?” Des pointed to a calendar, where some days were marked in bright red. Ashton nodded, confused where this was leading to. “Those are the dates where our school is playing matches.” Ashton was still confused. What did that have to do with him? “And you’re telling me that because…?” Ashton looked up at Des, who only grinned at him.

  


“Oh no. No way!” Ashton jumped back from the table. “You can’t be serious!” Des only sighed. “Look, kid. I really do think you have a lot of talent somewhere inside you, we just need to practise a bit more and you’ll be grand!” Ashton pulled at his hair. “No! You can’t make me do this!” He couldn’t believe this was happening. In what kind of twisted universe was Ashton meant to be playing an actual match against actual people?!

  


“I’m too bad anyway, I can’t play.” Des furrowed his brows. “Who said that?” “Me! Everyone on the team!” Sighing, Des put a hand on Ashton’s shoulder. “Look, I know you think you’re bad, but I see lots of potential in you and I don’t want to waste that. Just think about it. I think it’s worth a try.”

  


Ashton just wanted to run away, hide in his bedroom and never come out again. But then he thought about Will and how proud the old man would be if he’d play. He sighed again. “Alright, I’ll do it.” Des clapped him on the shoulder. “That’s my boy!” Turning around, he grabbed a sheet of paper and handed it to Ashton. “Those are the dates for the matches. “Oh, and you’ll play doubles with Hemmings. Just thought you should know.”

  


“I’m going to play with Luke?!” Ashton shouted. No, this was definitely a bad decision. Ashton wanted to turn back time and say no. “Yeah, what about it? I think you’d play well together. You’re not too bad in the front and Luke’s height makes him a great player in attacking position.”

  


This couldn’t be happening. “But why him? Why not someone else?” Des raised his eyebrows while grabbing his bags. “Do you and him have issues? If so, you better solve them.” Des went to the door and opened it. “First practice is on Saturday; we’ll practise throughout the entire week. You need to work better together. Don’t be late!”

  


And with that, Ashton was alone again.

  


+++

  


Saturday, 8th  November

  


“Oh come on Ashton, it’s really not that difficult!” Luke shouted angrily. Frustrated, Ashton turned around. “I’m trying, okay?!” Luke snorted. “C’mon, Des is an old man, I can’t believe you can’t hit those easy shuttles!” “Hey!” Des protested from the other side of the court, but neither Luke nor Ashton listen to him. “I am trying my best! What more do you want?!”

By now, Ashton and Luke were furiously shouting at each other. They probably wouldn’t have stopped if Des hadn’t hit them around the head with his racket. “Shut up, you two! I am not wasting my time on THIS!”

Both Ashton and Luke sighed, yet stopped shouting. “Now get back to work, or I’ll just leave and we’ll see how well you’ll do next week.” The two boys focussed back on the instructions Des gave them, but all Ashton could think of was _I’m going to fail_.

  


Monday, 10th  November

  


He was definitely not ready for all of this, Ashton realized as he and Luke switched from attacking to defending position and back. He was going to fail this, and he was going to fail massively.

  


Tuesday, 11th  November

  


“Hey Ashton, are you alright?” Des asked Ashton after practice on Tuesday. It had been a very exhausting one, even though they only did forehand shots. Ashton nodded, even though his mind was thinking something completely different. No, he was not alright. Definitely not.

“You seemed a bit off today, you sure you’re okay?” Nodding again, Ashton said “Yes, I’m sure. I’m just a bit nervous.” The truth was, Ashton felt like he was going to die on Saturday. “Don’t worry, kid! You’ll be great!” Des clapped Ashton on the shoulder and pushed him out of the hall. “Now go and have some fun. You look like you could use some.” Ashton smiled back a fake smile and turned around, heading for his room.

  


Wednesday, 12th  November

  


“I am actually going to kill myself.” Ashton muttered as he shoved his school uniform into his locker. Des had called them both to the court during 8th period, since it was the only free class Luke and him had together on that day. Besides 2nd period, but Des had declined Luke’s offer of practising at that time because he didn’t want them to be exhausted for the rest of the day. He also didn’t give a damn when Luke got angry because he still had Spanish after that and Hockey practise after Spanish. Luke had eventually shut up and accepted Des’ decision, and now Ashton was sitting on the bench, listening to Des’ instructions. He desperately wanted to get better, but the stress was just too much for him to handle and Ashton wondered how much longer he could take it.

  


Thursday, 13th  November

  


“ASHTON IRWIN!” Des shouted. Startled by the sudden interruption of his thoughts, Ashton let his racket fall down. He scrambled after it and picked it up again. “Would you mind explaining to me why you’re just standing there, doing nothing, while your team mate has to take all the shots even though most of them aren’t his to take?” “I-It won’t happen again, I promise.” Ashton bit on his lip as Luke shamelessly laughed at him. “Well then. Let’s continue.”While everyone focussed back on the game, Ashton’s only thoughts were on a sharp knife and how good it would feel to stab himself with it.

  


Friday, 14th  November

  


Ashton was trying to hold in his sobs as he bit on his knuckles to prevent himself from making a sound. He knows he should be out there on the court, practising with Luke against their team mates, but he just _couldn’t_. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t bring himself to stop crying, get up and face the world again. He just knew he couldn’t do this. He just knew it, deep down.

  


+++

  


Ashton tried to regular his breathing, but it was useless, he just couldn’t seem to calm down. Luke and him were currently waiting on the sidelines for their match to be on, and while Luke seemed to be as calm as a cool summer breeze, Ashton felt more like a tornado, ready to destroy everything in his way.

  


“Alright boys, you’re on next!” Des shouted. Ashton’s breath hitched. What? No, this couldn’t be. He hadn’t even prepared himself properly. Suddenly, he noticed Luke leaning over to whisper in Ashton’s ear. “Don’t fuck this up, Ashton. I car a lot about this and I want to win this match. Got it?” Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Ashton nodded. “Good” Luke replied and went over to Des, who was motioning for them to go on the field.

  


Ashton’s mind didn’t even process the first half of the match; he was too busy trying to get every shuttle and concentrate on everything at the same time. That worked fine for a while, but the closer the match came to its end, the more Ashton slipped up and he missed shuttle after shuttle, which earned him countless angry glares from Luke.

  


In the end, they lost 16:21, which wasn’t all that bad to Ashton, but apparently Luke thought otherwise.

As soon as all the formalities were over, he dragged Ashton behind the school over to the small track which led to Will’s small house.

He let go of Ashton abruptly and Ashton almost fell to the ground, but caught himself before he could stumble.

  


“What was that out there?!” Luke shouted. “Why can’t you even hit a shuttle properly?! Some of them were so easy, I’d been able to catch them in my sleep! Why are you such a fuck-up, Ashton?” Ashton was full-on trembling by now and tried to stop himself from shaking too much by taking deep breaths, which didn’t help at all.

“I-I did my best, I really did!” Luke only snorted and rolled his eyes. “Well, if that was your best, then I’m afraid that you’re not even close to me on my bad days!” “Why does everything have to be my fault?! You made some mistakes, too!” Ashton replied. “Pfff, my faults were nothing compared to yours. Without you we’d be much better off! Why don’t you just quit?!”

  


Luke didn’t say anything else after that, and Ashton could already feel the tears trying to break free, so he backed off slowly, going to the gardener’s house. “Maybe I should.” He mumbled to himself.

  


Once inside the house, Ashton leaned back against the door and immediately after, tears started to flow out of his eyes. “W-Will? Are y-you there?” No response came back, only Will’s cat, Jack, appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

  


Ashton lifted the cat up and went over to the window shelf, where he sat down and cradled Jack in his arms.

  


“Why is it always my fault? What have I ever done for the world to be so cruel to me?” Ashton asked the cat, but of course he didn’t get a reply. Of course he didn’t. He never did. Would he ever get one?

 


	5. "Just a few seconds after his head had touched the cold floor, Ashton fell unconscious."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, but eh. sorry for the hiatus :)

It was almost a month later when Ashton realised Luke had never really left their table, and instead had brought more friends over, and somehow it had evolved into a huge group of people. Ashton hadn’t even known Luke knew so many people.

  
  


“Hey Ash, don’t you have a match tomorrow?” Michael said and Ashton really wants to throw something at him for saying that because he can feel all eyes on him now. “Eh… yes, we do have a match tomorrow.”

  
  


“Oh yeah, that’s right! Luke, you’ll be playing tomorrow as well, right?” Calum grinned, looking at Luke, who sat just a few seats away from Ashton. Looking over to Ashton, Luke said “Yeah, and Ashton better not ruin it like last time. We can’t afford another defeat!” He laughed afterwards, but Ashton knew Luke wasn't joking. He really couldn't fail again.

  
  


And well, that just made Ashton feel a lot better about himself. Even if he’d gotten a lot better during the last month (thanks to countless hours of practice and a few matches against other schools), he still wasn’t as good as Luke and both of them knew that.

  
  


Standing up, Ashton picked up his school bag and left the lunch hall. He just couldn’t deal with this right now. He was already incredibly nervous, and now that nervousness had increased even more.

  
  


Arriving in his room, Ashton threw his bag on his desk while letting himself fall down face first on his bed. No matter how hard he tried to think of something else, the upcoming match roamed his thoughts again and Ashton could think of nothing else.

  
  


Ashton then decided that maybe reading a book might distract him from his thoughts, but after reading a couple of pages he threw his book away, frustrated. Why wouldn’t his brain listen to him?

  
  


+++

  
  


“We’re gonna smash this, alright?” Des shouted over the excited shatter filling the van. The badminton team was currently driving to their fifth match, and since the hosts were a different school this time, the whole badminton team had crammed up and squeezed themselves into Des’ small van. Everyone was buzzing with excitement, everyone but Ashton.

  
  


Ashton was sitting in the very back, next to some guy he didn’t know and was just about to have a panic attack, if his unsteady breathing was anything to go by.

  
  


About 15 minutes later they arrived at the other school, and immediately everyone jumped out of the van. Ashton quietly followed the others as the team made their way to the changing rooms after having checked in at the reception. The changing rooms were quite small, and somehow Luke managed to get a locker next to Ashton.

  
  


Ashton had just put on his shorts when a sudden wave of nausea overcame him and he had to steady himself on Luke’s shoulder in order not to fall over. Against his expectaions, Luke steadies him and asks worriedly “Are you okay, Ashton?” Ashton nodded, even though he really wasn't and he felt as if he's going to faint any minute now. Luke only nodded and continued changing.

  
  


+++

  
  


Around half an hour later, the whole team was standing on the sidelines, waiting for their turn to play. The longer it took for Ashton's turn to come on, the more nervous he got. He just wanted to get it over with and be done with it.

  
  


Luckily, a few minutes later Ashton and Luke were called up to play against the other school. Des patted both boys' shoulders and gave them a little squeeze. “Don't worry, you'll be grand.”

  
  


Both boys walked on the court and took their positions. Ashton was still trembling, and he was just about to run away when he heared Luke whisper something to him from behind “Good luck. You've gotten better, we're going to smash this.” Even though it shouldn't have a huge effect on him, Ashton felt his insides turn to mush. The fact that Luke wasn't telling him he's complete rubbish filled him with a sense of pride.

  
  


The match itself wasn't that spectacular, and the only thing worth mentioning was that they won. And even though Luke scored most of their points, Ashton scored a few himself, one even with a smash ball.

  
  


Even though they'd won the match, Ashton still wasn't feeling well and the shaking hadn't subsided, instead it had only increased. He excused himself to the bathroom when he began to see dark spots at the corners of his vision, and the moment he had locked the cubicle door behind him, he sat down on the floor and leaned his head against the wall. He wasn't even sure if he'd actually locked the door because his fingers had trembled so much, but he didn't have the strength to do it.

  
  


Ashton’s head hurt so much. He just wanted to lay down and close his eyes. So that’s what he did. Just a few seconds after his head had touched the cold floor, Ashton fell unconscious.

 


	6. Chapter 6 - "Never."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote two chapters today, so I thought I'd reward myself (by eating an entire bag of crisps while watching The Office), and you all by uploading a new chapter. Enjoy!

The next time Ashton opened his eyes, it was to someone repeatedly calling his name and slapping his face.

  
  


His eyes focused on someone leaning directly above him, and as his vision became more and more clearly, he realised it’s Luke who’s the one so close to him.

  
  


“Oh thank god, I’m so glad you woke up! I was really worried about you!” Luke said, and despite his throbbing head, he rolled his eyes (which he immediately regretted because ouch, not a good idea). 

  
  


“Yeah, as if.” Ashton tried to sit up, but Luke immediately pushed him down again. “Oh no, you’re not getting up now after I just found you passed out in the toilets!” Ashton rolled his eyes again, which still wasn’t a good idea. “I’m fine, get off me!” “No, you're clearly not! Why did you pass out?” Luke asked. 

  
  


Ashton didn't know how to respond to that. On one hand, he didn't want Luke to tell him about his panic attacks and get told he's a freak by Luke, but he also knew that Luke wasn't going to let this go without an explanation from Ashton, so there really was no other choice but to tell Luke.

  
  


“I-I almost got a panic attack.” “You got a WHAT?!” Ashton sat up, this time without Luke holding him back. “I sometimes get panic attacks, for example when I'm really worried about something, and I was worried about the match, and even afterwards I still hadn't calmed down which is why I locked myself in this cubicle, but I passed out before I could actually have a panic attack.” Ashton finished with a shrug. “How did you even get in here?”

  
  


Shrugging, Luke replied “The door wasn't locked.” Ashton furrowed his brows. “I thought I did lock it. Oh well.”

  
  


“Why were you worried, though?” Luke asked Ashton. “Ashton adverted his eyes. This was the question he'd tried to avoid. “I was afraid of losing and you being angry at me again, and I was afraid of things repeating themselves, like after the first match.” Ashton heard Luke sigh, and then he felt arms wrap around him.

  
  


“I wouldn't be angry at you, even if we'd lost the match.” Luke then said. Fumbling with his hands, Ashton replied “But that's exactly what happened after the first match a couple of weeks ago, don't you remember?” Luke sighs again. “That's true, but I regret that. Besides, things have changed since then.” “What kind of things?”

  
  


Ashton looked up at Luke, who was still taller than him, even when sitting down. Luke only shook his head. “The time will come when I'll tell you, but now is not the time for that.” He stood up and pulled Ashton up with him. “We're supposed to celebrate our victory, are you up for that?”

  
  


Without him noticing, Ashton had stopped trembling, and he felt better in general, all thanks to Luke. “Sure, let's celebrate.”

  
  


+++

  
  


“Ash? Hey, c'mon, please wake up!” Someone shook Ashton's shoulder, and after blinking a few times, Ashton could identify the person shaking him as Michael. The next thing he noticed was his wet face, and he sighed. “Was I crying again?” Nodding, Michael let go of Ashton's shoulder and sat down on Ashton's bed.

  
  


“Are you ever going to tell me why I keep waking up in the middle of the night because you're crying and I have to crawl in bed with you and sleep there? Not that I'm complaining, your bed is much warmer than mine anyways, but I'd still like to know the reason behind this.”

  
  


Sighing, Ashton motioned for Michael to lay down next to him. He put the blanket over Michael's body so the other boy wouldn't freeze, and then he began to tell his story.

  
  


“When I was little, I had a life just like everyone else. My family and I lived in a house, my siblings and I went to school, or in Harry's case, to kindergarten, and life was fine, you know. But one day, when I was twelve years old, I got angry at my parents, and we had a huge fight, and-and it was such a stupid reason and I can't even remember what the fight was about” Ashton took in a shaky breath. Michael only patted his arm to let him know he could continue.

  
  


“Anyway, I ran away and into the park and just hid on a tree for a while to sulk, and I eventually decided to come back. By that time, it was evening time, so when I turned around the corner into our street I could see the fire straight away. Me being me, I ran to our house, and I just didn't understand what was happening. Later I understood. Our whole house was on fire and _everything_ was burning. We had a house completely made out of wood, so I should've known it was going to catch fire sometime.” Ashton wiped away a few tears that had escaped his eyes, then continued.   
  
  


“I ran into the house and started searching for my family. I couldn't see much because of the smoke, yet I didn't turn around, instead I ran into what had been our living room, but I still couldn't see anyone, and I was jsut so confused and couldn't believe what was happening, and I wanted to go into another room to continue searching, but I saw something move from behind the couch, so I ran there.” Swallowing, Ashton tried to stop sobs from escaping his mouth.

  
  


“It was my father. He was stuck under a huge wooden beam, and I immediately tried to lift it off of him, but it was on fire, so I burned my hands. However, that didn't stop me from trying. I don't know why I didn't just run out of the house, but I couldn't even think straight by that time. While I tried that, my father was telling me that I should go away, and that I couldn't save him, but I wouldn't listen and continued trying. It didn't work, and I only burned my hands more and more, but I didn't want to give up. I don't know how long I was trying to help him, but a beam fell down from the ceiling on my back and I stumbled on the ground. I couldn't see how big it was, but it must've been a big one as well because I couldn't get up anymore. My dad and I just kind of looked at each other, held each other's hands and cried. I've never seen my father cry before that, but on that night, he cried. We told each other we loved one another, again and again. We thought we were both going to die right there and then. Pretty soon after that I blacked out.”

  
  


Ashton pulled down his hoddie and pointed to the burn marks covering his left shoulder. “I don't even know how I got those, I only awoke when I was in the ambulance. The firemen had rescued me and my dad and we were both in separate ambulances. They wouldn't let me go to him, because we were driving to the hospital, but they reassured me I could see him once we'd gotten treatments for our burns. I protested and demanded to see my father, but they told me not to worry and that my dad was going to make it, so I trusted them.” Ashton took a deep breath.

  
  


“He... he didn't make it. He didn't even make it into the hospital alive, he died in the ambulance. I never saw him again.”

  
  


Michael pulled Ashton into his arms and hugged him tightly. “I'm so sorry, Ash” Ashton just let his tears flow and cried into Michael's shirt. “N-Now y-you know why I'm s-so f-f-fucked u-up.” “You're not fucked up, Ashton. You just have a difficult past which still affects you in your daily life, which is perfectly fine.” He softly stroked Ashton's hair. “We all have our problems, it's completely normal.”

  
  


For a while they just lay there, Michael having started to stroke Ashton's back as well as his hair.

  
  


“Thanks for not leaving me, Michael.” “I wouldn't ever leave you, Ash, always remember that, okay?” Ashton nodded. “Besides, who would I watch Game of Thrones with if not my fantastic room mate?” Giggling, Ashton playfully hit Michael's chest. “Oh, shut up!”

  
  


“I mean it, though. I wouldn't want to have another room mate.” Michael said quietly. “Me neither” Ashton replied.

  
  


+++

 

 

The last week of school had passed in a blur, and soon everyone was leaving for winter holidays. Everyone but Ashton. Seeing as he didn't have anywhere to go, he spent every holiday with Will, which wasn't that bad. For Christmas, he'd gotten the gardener a new tea service, and had gotten some new books in return.

  
  


Right now, it was New Year's Eve, and Ashton and Will sat outside of Will's house, watching the stars.

  
  


“Will?” Ashton asked and turned to look at the gardener. “I really hope things will work out between me and Luke. I really care about him, I really do.” Will looked back and patted Ashton's shoulder. “I know you do. You haven't stopped talking about him ever since you and him shared that hug.” He then started to laugh. “What am I saying? You haven't shut up about him ever since you got to know him better!” Will ruffled through Ashton's hair and continued talking. “Everything will be alright. It just needs time.”

  
  


Before Ashton could reply anything, he heard fireworks going off in the distance and both him and Will looked into the sky, which was full of colours. They both got up, and Ashton hugged Will. The old man was around a head shorter, but somehow it still worked out and for a moment the two just stood there and enjoyed each other's company.

  
  


“Will, are you ever going to leave me?”

  
  


“Never.”

 


	7. "Somehow they managed to fall asleep on the bed together, a tangled mess of bodies."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick lil update!! I hope you enjoy this, and if you do, please let me know :-)

Ashton had spent the rest of his holidays reading the books Will had given him, texting Luke and Michael, and helping Will with his duties at the school. When everyone returned to school, Ashton moved back from Will's place to his shared room with Michael, who eagerly hugged him when he saw Ashton was back. The only thing that didn't go as usual was when Luke came back. Ashton had only planned on greeting him briefly because he still didn't know what they were and if they were talking, but Luke had embraced him in a warm hug and hadn't let go for at least ten seconds. Not that Ashton had complained, he had simply hugged Luke back.

  
  


And so classes started up again, and everyone returned to their normal routine.

  
  


On Tuesday, the 13 th of January, Luke had asked Ashton if he wanted to go out to town with him, and after having been dumbstruck for a moment, Ashton had eagerly agreed. 

  
  


This had resulted in Ashton freaking out over what he was going to wear around half an hour before Luke was meant to pick him up from his room, while Michael was watching him with an amused expression on his face, letting out an occasional laugh whenever he thought Ashton was behaving especially ridiculous. 

  
“You're supposed to help me, Michael! Stop laughing!” Ashton shouted at Michael while searching for a sweater to wear. “Why am I friends with you? You're useless at giving advice and you eat all my food!” Michael only laughed harder, and against his will, Ashton started laughing as well. “I'm behaving ridiculous, aren't I?” “Definitely” Michael laughed and stood up. He started digging through his closet and threw a piece of cloth at Ashton.

  
“Just wear that and you'll be fine.” Ashton looked thankfully at Michael and just a second after he'd thrown on the sweater, someone knocked on the door. Michael opened it, and as expected, Luke was on the other side, grinning like an idiot. “Hey Michael, hey Ashton” Ashton grabbed his phone and room keys and went out of the door. “Hi Luke” “You ready to go?” Nodding, Ashton closed the door behind him and the two of them started walking down the corridoor, towards the front door.

  
  


+++

  
  


The two boys were walking through the park, having just gotten some crêpes to eat, when Ashton saw an unoccupied bench. “Hey, wanna sit down there?” Luke nodded, and shortly after that the two of them were sitting on said bench, cuddling with each other and enjoying the heat they were sharing, watching the stars above.

  
  


There was a comfortable silence between them, and Ashton didn't dare to break it. He enjoyed this, spending time alone with Luke.

  
  


Ashton could really get used to this.

  
  


+++

  
  


“Where do you see yourself in five years?” Ashton asked Luke, and looked behind himself and up to Luke's face. The two of them were currently sitting in Ashton's bed, Luke leaning against the headbord of the bed with Ashton sitting in front of him, which basically meant they were spooning while being in an upright position.

  
  


The other boy put the book down the two of them were currently reading, and stared at Ashton. “I want to be an athlete and compete in championships, preferably Badminton. I'd like that. And what do you want to be?”

  
“I'd like to write my own books; be an author. I also want to get out of here, I don't want to spend the rest of my life here.” Ashton fiddled with his fingers, unsure if he should voice his thoughts to Luke. He finally decided he'd go for it. “I'd also like to still be in contact with you, if I'm being really honest.” Luke smiled. “You know what? I'd like that, too.”

  
  


Ashton smiled back, then said “I wouldn't want to leave Will, though. He's the only family I have left, even if he isn't related to me at all.” “You know, you never told me what happened with your family.” Luke says and Ashton feels his blood run cold. “I-I don't think I'm ready to tell you about that yet. Please don't be angry at me, okay?” Nodding, Luke smiled. “Of course, I wouldn't ever force you to tell me something you're not comfortable with.” “Thanks” Ashton replied.

  
Putting the book down, Luke laid down on the bed and pulled Ashton down with him. Ashton's head was lying on Luke's chest and he could feel Luke's steady heartbeat. None of the two boys said anything, and they just enjoyed each other's company.

  
  


Somehow they managed to fall asleep on the bed together, a tangled mess of bodies.

 


	8. "We're gonna be the best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been some time, hasn't it? oh well.   
> I've been working on some new works, and there's two fics for the fic exchange waiting to be written.   
> regardless, enjoy! :-)

On Friday, only three days later, Luke asked Ashton if he wanted to go out again, this time to a restaurant. Ashton was so happy his cheeks hurt when he nodded and smiled brightly at Luke, who only smiled back in response.

  
  


+++

  
  


The next day, the two boys were out in town, currently sitting in a restaurant. Their meals had already been placed in front of them, yet they hadn't eaten that much yet, because they were having a conversation that neither of them wanted to interrupt by putting a fork into their mouth. Occasionally, one of them would take a bite, and the other would wait patiently until the one eating had finished and then continue with the conversation.

  
Eventually, they were finished and split the bill between them. After having left the restaurant, they both walked back to the school. They had walked about half the way back when Luke gripped Ashton's hand in his and turned his head to smile at the smaller boy. Squeezing Luke's hand, Ashton smiled back and they continued their way home.

  
  


Arriving in front of Ashton's room, Luke let go of Ashton's hand as they stopped walking. “I thought this was really nice, Ash. Wanna do it again?” Excited, Ashton nodded. “Okay, I'll see you around, I guess?” Luke asked. “Definitely” Ashton replied. Smiling, Luke turned around and walked down the hallway. Ashton could barely contain his happy squeal, but managed to hold it in until he'd closed the door behind him. Then he broke out into a huge grin and had to put his hands over his mouth to stop himself from actually shouting out loud just how happy he was at that moment.

  
  


Only then he noticed that he wasn't alone in the room, and that in fact, Michael was there as well. There was something different about him, though. His formerly dark brown hair was no longer brown, but instead a bright green that almost seemed to shine in the dimmed light.

  
  


“What?” Michael asked as he noticed Ashton gaping at him. Ashton just pointed at his hair. “You – your hair – you” “Yes, I dyed my hair. Was about time, to be honest.”

  
  


Ashton slowly walked towards his bed and sat down. “I thought you weren't allowed to dye your hair? It's against the school rules, isn't it?” Shrugging, Michael answered “Really? Well, there's nothing they can do about it now.” “I suppose so”, Ashton shrugged as well.

  
“Let's get back to important issues: Why were you so happy when you came in here?” Instantly, Ashton was back to being a giddy mess. “Oh, you know, me and Luke were out” Michael raised his eyebrows. “Yes? And? More detail, please!”

  
  


Ashton proceeded to tell him all about him and Luke's outing, ending with their conversation in front of their room door.

  
  


Michael was smiling as well by the time he had finished, and as soon as Ashton stopped talking, he said “Awww! That's so sweet of him! I should definitely get Calum to take me out on a date like that as well.” Ashton's smile falling from his face, he asked “What do you mean 'date'? That wasn't a date.” Michael only shot him a look that said 'Please', but said nothing. “I'm serious! It was just us two, out in town!”

  
  


“Dude, that was definitely a date. I know a date when I hear about one, and what you told me about this 'outing' of yours definitely sounds like a date to me.” Sputtering, Ashton exclaimed “But he doesn't like me like that!”

  
  


Michael only shot him that look again.

  
  


“Ashton, he definitely likes you like that.”

  
  


+++

  
  


It was a nice Friday afternoon, the sun was shining, and Ashton was nervous as heck. Luke and him were practising again, this time for the regionals that were the following day. He's already messed up quite a bit during this practice, and he could feel Luke getting irritated at him. He didn't mind, he was annoyed at himself as well.

  
  


At the end of the practice, Ashton was ready to go to his room and just lay on his bed for the rest of the day, but of course, things never go as Ashton had planned them to.

  
  


“Hey Des, would you mind if Ashton and I stayed a bit longer to practise some more? We'll lock up, don't worry.”, Luke asked, while smiling that bright smile that he did, at Des. Shrugging, their trainer replied “Sure, just don't forget to collect all the shuttles.” and threw the keys at Luke, who caught them easily. “Thanks, Des!”, Luke shouted after him, the elderly man only waving him off while leaving through the door.

  
  


They continued to practise for a while, and it was fine, it really was. Ashton still messed up a few things, but he tried to ignore them and just enjoy his time with Luke. However, that ended when they were practising net-shots. In Ashton's case, the term 'trying' would be more fitting. He just somehow couldn't get it right, and it frustrated him to no end.

  
  


“Okay, hold up” Luke said suddenly, and Ashton looked up at the other boy, who was making his way over to Ashton. As soon as he was there, he stood behind Ashton and told him to raise the racket and try again. Ashton was confused, but did as he was told. During the shot, he could feel Luke's eyes on him, making him slightly uncomfortable.

  
  


“Okay, you need to do this a little bit differently. Here, let me show you.” Luke said, stepping even closer to Ashton and moving his arms around Ashton, so that they lay over Ashton's arms. Ashton couldn't stop himself from blushing, while also getting more nervous, because it was rare that someone was this close to Ashton, and he didn't know how to react.

  
  


Luke put his hands over Ashton's, and showed him how to properly do the shot. “See? It's not that difficult” he said. Stepping away, he encouraged Ashton to try again, and to Ashton's surprise, he actually got it right. He grinned at Luke, who smiled right back at him, then went back to his own racket.

  
  


After another hour or so, they decided to call it a day, and after locking up, they left for Ashton's room. Arriving there, it was almost as if the scene from last week was repeating itself. Except, it wasn't. This time, Ashton's nerves were a wreck.

  
  


“Hey Luke, do you think we're gonna do okay tomorrow?”

  
He most certainly didn't expect Luke to hug him tightly and nuzzle his head into Ashton's hair, as Ashton's arms wrapped around Luke and settled on his back.

  
“We're gonna be the best.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @starrymikey


End file.
